1. reblogged: jimmyhowie

    magicalmanhattanproject:

    if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties

    But what if you already fucked them…what then?

     
  2. Mar 1st, 2014    
  3. theletterwsarseflap:

    awkwardbirds:

    rinlockhart:

    ridiculously-dilettantish:

    strange-is-a-compliment:

    I always wanted these to happen in real life

    Where is “Several bad puns later”?

    we need more!

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    don’t ask me why i have these on hand…i just do…

    casually going to like this for future reference

     
  4. Feb 22nd, 2014    
  5. thestrangeoneswillhold:

    that-girl-with-the-boots:

    thedelightwoods:

    if you ever think a date to a bookstore would be boring there’s this game you can play where you go to the romance novel section and the both of you pick out a book and flip to a random page. and you skim the pages and read the dirtiest part outloud. whoever has the nastiest scene gets a point and you just keep going until you feel like stopping it’s really quite entertaining

    oH MY GOD

    FNEKJBNEKG AW YES

    (Source: ozeira)

     
  6. Nov 17th, 2013    
  7. discolor3d:

    I always get sad when i read/hear something like “enjoy your life while you’re young” because i’m young and my life fucking sucks i’m not enjoying anything

     
  8. Nov 17th, 2013    
  9.  
  10. Nov 17th, 2013    
  11. heckacute:

    I touch myself whenever I think about you. More specifically, I rub my temples because I get a headache because you’re awful. 

     
  12. Nov 17th, 2013    
  13.    2

     

    reblogged: fuqdatshityoo

     
  14. Nov 17th, 2013    
  15. jenniferanalston:

praise
     
  16. Nov 17th, 2013    
  17. blurredbynes:

    arent parents supposed to not make you feel like shit 

    (Source: jetbag)

     
  18. Nov 17th, 2013    
  19. (Source: 19920627jl)

     
  20. Nov 17th, 2013    
  21. hyungstrider:

    you could give me 43 years to do homework and i wouldnt do it until the night before

     
  22. Nov 17th, 2013    
  23. reblogged: trashboat

    radondoran:

    Bill Nye The Science Guy, “Atoms” (1997).

     
  24. Nov 12th, 2013    
  25. reblogged: skatles

     
  26. Nov 12th, 2013    
  27. reblogged: oomshi

    sizedoubled:

    looking at your pussy like-

    image

     
  28. Nov 12th, 2013    
  29. reblogged: wasiangod

    nayx:

    well detective, we don’t have much to go on.  the victim is dead, that’s for sure.  like the victim is definitely dead.  we yelled really loud in his ear and he didn’t do anything.  he’s probably dead

     
  30. Nov 2nd, 2013